International Date Night

Somewhere in the world BFG is doing something that I’m not. Which is yay because I like him experiencing things. However, tonight is…date night! First official one we’ve ever had, but we communicate so well that it’s just a continuation all over night. We’ve double dated with his friends on voice Skype and Cards Against Humanity, but nothing like a set date just for us. Only been 5 months.

So what will we do? Well, I’m thinking planning our house and designing pieces together. Note, he’s spooked himself before when discussing possible move-in but it’s something he constantly talks about now. So. I’m thinking we can have fun designing. We’re pretty different in our aesthetics – thankfully we can match them to each other. Date night begins at 4pm EST/10pm Germany.

[8 hours later]

…And now date night is over. So, it’s hard coming up with some kind of activity since he’s in Germany and YouTube isn’t really available to have popcorn night with. Doing some insanely difficult investigation online I found the idea of decorating homes, which is actually relevant since eventually I’ll be living with him. And, moreover, I wanted him to see how I decorate and what I enjoy. So, we created floorplans and decorated with RoomSketcher, which is really useful and fun. We (I) decided to create studio apartments and go from there. As his first time using an online creator, his was pretty bare and basic since he was looking at first place. Mine was far more elaborate since I’ve been designing for years. And I’m really, really lucky that BFG likes my feminine touches. Not a lot of storage because I think we should find those things in yard sales or secondhand jobs. Something to add character. And I love each of the chandeliers and lights. Oh, and keeping windowsills for the cats we will have.

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…Yes, I love a German

Yes, I love a German. He’s a fabulous man who deserves far better than me, but I’m not giving him up. We met on an online dating site and right before Christmas will be our five month anniversary. I’m not really a commitment person since I find most people, well, annoying. But I love him and his crazy self. He and I are very much equals and he makes me believe in romance, like the schmoopy Hallmark card kind.

He’s my endgame. I’ll move to Germany, do everything I need to be with him. I’m even changing grad school plans. (And hey, who would ever think a Masters from an overseas university is a bad plan when looking competitively for PhD programs?) I’m from Atlanta, Georgia, you know the reason everyone loves a cold Coke in the summer. He’s from Northwest Germany, where the world is very different from my laid-back, southern life.

…Huh. He needs a new pronoun/name/thing. I’m kind of hiding this from him. Not out of fear, but as a way of working things out in my head. He’ll eventually stumble across since I’m terrible at hiding anything. (What? We all go “look! look! look what I made!” to our partners, right?) But for now, I should work on that.

….pondering…

….still pondering…

…nope, can’t call him The German, so still pondering….

….ah ha! We shall call him BFG, Big Friendly German, since he’s a full foot taller than me. Sorry Dahl, I stole the initials for my own purpose. Yes, okay. So BFG and I have been together for a very short time, but I know he’s the perfect person for me. That doesn’t mean that he’s flaw free. Quite the opposite in fact, but the great thing about long distance relationships is you’re forced to work on anything that pops up. (Religion and spirituality? Touchy subject with a spiritual partner and atheist, but we respect the other’s opinions and needs, working on not being rude or cruel.) And I’m extremely emotional and volatile at times whereas he’s the thing of logic and rationality. We balance when needed.

But it doesn’t mean our problems are easy to handle. Sometimes, they’re really, really big. And that’s the point of this blog. To document all of this and see, feel, experience outside our daily chats. To record our relationship and our love as it changes, shifts, becomes everything we need and how we need it.